I am sure you heard this statement before: “There is no true love.” I have heard it so many times that I wonder how people came to such dangerous conclusions. But on a closer look, one will find that such statements are made by those who have tasted the ugly side of relationships, or have been knocked off the mountain of adoration into an emotional roller coaster. It is normal that after bad experiences you begin to ask yourself questions of self examination. Love also has had its take by all those who have claimed to encountered it at one point or the other, and what they make of it is usually a result of the kind of experiences they had in their past or present relationships. Whatever the take on the matter, the truth is that love cannot be qualified or quantified. It is what it is. It cannot be greater or less, it comes in a static form and has no superlative. So one cannot have more love or less love, you simply have ‘love’. So the question of whether there is true love is off point, because the most sensible thing to ask is whether there is love at all. But since that cannot be disproved, then the issue must be dropped. There is love and many will and are encountering it.

But what concerns me most today is the extent to which people have started appending love to be an article of commercial value. Somehow this key virtue, which is mankind’s only gift to make the world livable, has been given a financial rating by many around the world. Therefore what now determines if two people agree to walk together is determined by what extent they can meet each others needs financially and not be a burden. If there is an indication of monetary capability, then ‘love’ is given an opportunity to express itself. I have often sampled the opinion of a few young persons on this matter, especially young women. I do this just to keep abreast with the predominant thinking in the world system so I know at what point to challenge and pull down wrong mindsets. The responses I have gotten often includes “…and he must be rich”. This usually follows “…he must be handsome and educated”. But of course you can deduce easily that the “rich” part is the most important consideration before love is given a chance. Others will put it bluntly, “will I eat love?” Others would say “I have suffered enough in life, and I can’t take it anymore.” So there is this on going process whereby love has become monetized.

The whole thing seems very funny when you think about it, but it gets serious when you consider how many young women these days place that as a stringent condition that must be met in any man they must stay with. You will be surprised that even young men now target ladies that are on the upper echelon of the economic stratification, simply because they want to attain or maintain a ‘good’ life. While it is not bad to want to marry a rich man or woman, but when such consideration comes to play, we should remember that love is a personality and can determine where it is appreciated and where it is stifled.

In church I attended several years ago, a young lady I know of was at a stage in her life where she wanted to get married badly, and the guy she was engaged with was still crawling financially. Then appeared a knight in shining amour, who promised heaven and earth. And after a ride in a nice air conditioned automoblie (yes…it wasn’t a motorcar), and a couple of dinners and gifts, she projected her mind into the future and decided that she didn’t want to continue struggling with her boyfriend. She left and married Mr. Fantastic. We all went for the wedding and celebrated with her, and consoled the unfortunate brother. Well, a fews years later, after 2 children for her husband, she was needing serious counselling because her husband is a dangerous flirt. The problem is that he doesn’t even hide it. He shoves it on her face and tells her that as long as he is providing for her, she should allow him have his peace. It was a sad case, very sad case. At the time of her saga, the unfortunate brother who lost out had decided to get married to another lady in church who didn’t mind his state. He has two kids as well. He was still not up there financially at that time. But last year, this brother who has been a Secondary school teacher most of his working life got a major sponsorship from a bank for an idea he had. Today, 18 months after his idea came to the fore in Nigeria, he sold it to a huge company and made money he can’t spend in 50 years. The last I heard of that lady is that she is living in hell with that guy whom she followed off.

The problem is that many more are falling into this category and making terrible mistakes when it comes to this issue. Somehow society have made us impetuous to the point that we throw caution to the wind for temporary comfort without a care to wonder on the implications of our actions. With the rising taste and more enlightenment in society, no one wants to struggle or muggle through life. What’s most annoying is that young people don’t want to work hard anymore, but want to make it and make it fast. So consequently, our young ladies are scanning their suitors for the virus of poverty, while hold the ace of love as an offering to the highest bidder.I can imagine the amount of heart breaks people are going to have to deal with. The truth is that they will suddenly come to realize that comfort and purchasing power have little implication in a relationship. What’s worse is that when there is a lot of money, you find other kinds of dangerous characteristics such as greed, pride, disrespect, mistrust, stubbornness and the like. We even see that many more women are of the opinion that you should not have a joint account with your husband, because men just can’t be trusted with money. It really takes high levels of self control and a correct perception of wealth for money not to have a negative impact on the life of a family or a relationship. But love is the vital ingredient that guarantees success in a relationship, and it comes after you have decided to walk purposefully with a another person.

Now, when a person tells me I love him or her, I gauge the financial posture of the object of love. And a lot of time, such confessions of love is directly correlated to the possessions at hand. Now love is an exchange for dole and this is what I call the monetization of love. It is an unfortunate development, but a real situation that people must be warned of. In fact some have already built for themselves a class of friends who are exclusively in the higher social status, so as to protect their choices from falling below standard. How sad. True riches lie in the passion in a person’s eyes, in the motivation of his actions, and in the drive of his vision. And besides, who tells us that conditions are permanent? People rise and people fall. So does wealth come and go. So if you base your choice on money, then know that you have also sold yourself and your conscience. I wonder how many people reading this are not already monetizing their love? hmmmm……



  1. Ngee says:

    Reggie, until people come to understand that GOD is the simplest, purest and truest form of LOVE…it will continue. I think we should concentrate on educating people about the true nature of love…God’s Agape love. Then and only then will the ‘monetization of love’ begin to lose strength.

  2. Ngozi…they have murdered this discussion on facebook only because I made the mistake to place only an excerpt there…. But I am glad at least you get the context of what I am talking about.

  3. Jay says:

    nice one. the trends is scary but i would like you to also put up a post about brothers whose ladies dont mind starting small and even remaining small compared to others bt who have not been able to manage their complex thereby blaming their circumstances on the lady that has been with them through thick and thin. they turn these ladies to their dumpsite where they drop all the stress of their lives…

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