Continued from part 1…
4. Where have you kept you character, get it back. It’s important that you understand the place character holds in identifying the true beauty of a woman. After all the glossy finishing and the extreme makeovers (Salon or home edition), it boils down to your antecedents and general deportment. It ranges from appearance to utterance and from poise to style. I wrote something about appearance a while ago all because I was very concerned about the way a lot of young women these days display flesh beyond measure. I thought certain things were yours to conceal and reveal to the right party and not for public consumption. But it seems the word caution and moderation has exited our social windows and pretty damsels are on the loose to exhibit flesh on the chest and on the thighs. Babe, that says too much about you and a onetime impression that is pretty hard to erase from the memory. The moment you leave your house with such skimpy stuff, you have already condemned your choice of men to a select hungry hyenas seeking for you to feast on. Besides what’s worse is that you give men more reasons to perceive women as a sex thing rather than a person to be respected.
Also some women have no bridle over their tongues, and like an unrestricted flow of water, they rail out abuses, insults, and angry words at every moment they are provoked. Some find themselves getting beaten up by male bullies all because of a bad use of the tongue. The point is that rarely can men compete with women when it comes to using words; this is why men without self-control extend a hand of ‘slap-her-ship’ rather than fellowship. You remain inexcusable if this is your lot. No one excuses a vile man, but what brought out the vileness in him, check closely it may have had something to do with your words. There is nothing that carries much beauty in a woman who has great control over what she says, for her words are like apples of gold, place in a silver basket.
What will make the issue of character very murderous to any woman is when she crowns it all with being lazy. I have met women who sleep at 11pm at night, and wake up at 10am the next morning. If it is unacceptable for a man to sleep like that, how much more will you be ridiculed and wasted if you drool and spool on your bed, romancing the padded matter on which you lay your dizzy head. One of the attractions of a sexy woman is how active she is. If you are so lazy that it begins to influence even how you talk and walk around, you have lost a major part of your beauty and you gradually loose you attractiveness. Nobody wants to relate to a woman who will become a growing and going concern. Each morning you wake, check your character on these fronts. For the rest, you have the Bible to guide you. Some women by their own doing have driven away good men with a bad attitude. If this is you, nothing positive can happen to you unless you change your ways.
5. Understand that there is a difference between a girl, a woman, a wife, and a mother. A lot of girls are going about touting themselves to be women, and a lot of women claim to be wives and so on. You can’t deceive anyone sweetheart. There are levels in this business. You graduate from one level to the other as you deal with the devils of each level. There are certain things you must drop to move from girlhood to womanhood. Don’t assume that you can still be wallowing in girlie thrash and expect anyone to call you a woman; it doesn’t work that way. Similarly many women are expecting to tie the nuptial knot before they assume the label of a wife. But the truth is that you first enter into the realms of responsibility and emotional balance to qualify as a wife before you even desire to sign the contract with a male.
Also being a wife does not in any way qualify you to be a mother. Mothers are something of a rare breed and some people say that it comes with a lot of experience with dealing with people to the point that your heart is enlarged to fit in the shortcomings of others. That’s when you become a mother. Nothing moves you at any pressure point. You are like a bulwark and a stronghold. Wives merely fit one person into their lives very well, but mothers fits whoever they meet into the containers of their heart. So assess yourself thoroughly at what level you are and be true to what you need to do. It doesn’t come by age, but it comes by how much responsibility you accept in your life. You can find 16 year olds who can pass as mothers, while you can still see 50 year olds who are entirely overcome with girlish tendencies. Yes, they abound. They are running all over the place tucking their tummy, adjusting bum bums and enhancing breasts. You find them even in the corridors of power, They are a sheer marvel to watch, and they fill the pages of opulent glossy magazines, and have junk journalism as their town criers. Unfortunately many of our precious sisters are patterning their lives after these ones, and many little girls even adopt them as social mentors. You can’t cheat life in this business, so judge yourself.
6. In every nonsense, there is some sense. It is very easy to blame everything but yourself. To some women, all men are jerks and bloody bastards. While to some others, all men ought to be castrated. Why these varying degree of hostility to men is growing, there is also a feeling of self righteousness with have blinded many women. With all that women have been subject to for several centuries, it seems the rise of feminism has empowered some women beyond reason. Thus they are now self styled liberators of other women, and carry the message of women empowerment around town. But if you take a closer look at most of these women, you find that they lack one vital ingredient; humility, and most of them cannot boast of having a good home. I know a lot of sisters will crucify me for this (I know of one in particular). But I will say it as it is. If you find yourself in a nonsense situation, check it out very well. The sense there maybe its with your own hand that you have stirred the hornets’ nest. Feminism will make you look outside for possible solutions, but true womanhood will make you look inside. So much to say here that will raise controversy, but outside the scope of my consideration. I simply just want to state that when you fall into the ditch, don’t look at the ditch, consider your sight, when you slip don’t worry about the fall, consider your steps. For when you do this, you will rise above the hindrance of your circumstances and make the most of anything lost.
7. Please no man is worth crying for. If he messes you up, square your shoulders dry your eyes and love again. There is nothing like a broken heart. Trust me; your heart can never break. It is one thing God has given you that have the capacity to withstand any attack on it. Most women cry because of a broken pride and time lost. If you really think you have lost someone you really loved, then you should consider what you have done rather than crying and see what to do for this not to repeat itself. If this was not of your own doing, then you should love your man enough to let him go. While you are shedding tears and whining, something may be passing by you. My philosophy is that when you are broken down, that is when most likely your answer is hovering around. But if you dwell on your troubles, then good will pass you by without you noticing it because your sensitivity is dulled at the time, or you have wrongly labeled good as bad. I ask you this question: Can there be an end to good men? That is absolutely impossible. Just like beautiful women can never cease, the one who made them knows in what supply they must come to meet the demand. So slap yourself back to reality, no human is worth your tears or your fears for they are all wear and tears, unless it is your gift from God. That one will stay.
Finally I will say this, WAIT!!! There is nothing to rush in this matter. There is one stupid concept floating around which they call the Biological Clock. As far as I am concerned that is a drug which many have consumed to their death. The tyranny of urgency has suddenly come over even those less than 25 years old these days to the point that at 25, if you are not in a relationship, then something must be wrong with you. Hey! Free you of these entanglements for you will injure yourself badly with a momentum that is only meant for fools who know not what their future portends. If everyone around is getting married, don’t forget how many are getting unmarried again. So if finding your best friend is taking too much time, then he must be must be precious material of the highest quality. Please my sister, wait….I beg of thee wait. Don’t go hopping like a grasshopper from one man to the other look for who suits you. For eventually you will find that your emotions have been distributed into the pockets of many men, and you become parched of true value to add to your man. Waiting doesn’t mean inactivity or passivity, but an active engagement in the lives of other and a present consciousness of your relationships. Some women sit at home and do nothing and are overcome with emotional lethargy. They go to work and come back home and on the weekend do nothing. You really think that people appear out of the blue that way? Stand up and become active ion something else other than your job. Join a Non-Profit, church communities, and social organization, look for people who are doing things you have a passion for and register your presence actively. For in doing so, you will establish your path with good hearted people, and in no time at all, someone will ring your bell with one knee on the floor and a flower in one hand.